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TITLE 


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Enofi^kg^wiity 


307.73 


S269 


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Antrim,    M.    "T. 

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Copyright,  A.  D.  1905,  by 
George  W.  ]acobs  6  Co. 
Poblished     October.     1905. 


O  C  1  E  T  Y  ! 

Snub,   snicker, 
sneer,    sniff. 


That's  all 


A  m 


T  takes  oceans  of  t\me 
and  barrels  of  money  to  be  a 
consistent  sinner.  ^  ^ 


RIDGE'*     is    to 
Daughter   of    Mammon    all    that 
**Crap"  is  to  a  Son  of  Ham.      ww 


JHLii^^  IFE  may  be  short,  but  a 
smart  woman  manages  to  get  lots 
in,  and  out  of  it.  ■    b 


OT  every  woman  may  be 
a  Princess,  but  it's  a  stupid  woman 
who  cannot  be  one  man's  *'  Queen." 


EN  who  love  deeply  are 


unselfish.     Few  men   are    unselfish. 


HERE  is  nothing  like 


an  empty  stomach  to  quicken  the 
desire  to  earn  your  own  bread* 


OWARDS  are  not  invari- 
ably liars,  but  liars  are  invariably 
cowards.  #   # 


w  h  o 

marry  great  geese  must   not 
expect  to  father:  Jittle  swans 


EOPLE  who  live  in  stone 
houses  should  never  throw  glasses. 


F    your    wife    had    only 


married    that     model    man,    what    a 
good  time  you  might  be  having.  »• 


71 

JgmL  "STRAIGHT"  worldling 
is  more  to  be  respected  than  a  biased 
Christian.  •  • 


HEN  short,  borrow  every 
cent  your  friends  can  ** spare**;  it 
won't  take  long  to  pay  it  back. 


ARRIAGE  is  a  lottery  in 


which  all  women  are  eager  to  take 
a  chance.  ■     ■ 


LADY    and    her    maid 
can    outlie    two 
^ers. 


ONG  tongues  and  short 
tempers  are  usually  mated.  •  • 


ON*T  toady.  However,  da 
not  differ  too  loudly  from  those  in 
power 


R 

^ILJ^  E  polite.  Perhaps  your 
family  won't  mind  if  you  practice 
upon  them.  •  • 


OYE  is  misery  well  sweet- 
ened, and  divided  between  two 
adults  of  different  sex.  •!• 


J 


F    Love    "gives    wit    to 


men",  it  takes  wisdom  from  women. 


HEN  cheek  meets 
cheek,    thed 
comes    the    tug 
for  more. 


COFFERS     at     marriage 

are   Iil;3  blind  men  sneering  at  |  the 
light. 


9  • 


CLEVER    liar    is    invari- 
ably careful. 


J 


T  takes  a  dainty  woman 


to  be  a  sweet  little  liar! 


■     ■ 


ANY  a  man  is  a  hero  to 
his  wife  who  is  several  kinds  of  a 
coward  to  others.  a  a 


HE  man-eatincj  monster 
in  matrimonfal  waters  is — Selfish- 
ness. •  • 


■JUPOT  every  young  wife  can 
Jbe  her  husband's  **  first  love," 
tut  she  can  be  his  last — if  he 
dies  soon  enough.  m  m 


^LJi^  ETTING  into  Society  is 
easy;  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  invent 
it  a  new  folly.    Getting  out  is  easier; 


all    you    have    to    do    is  —  nothing. 


V^AME?   Pull  with  the  Press. 


HEN   a  man   marries,  his 
wife's  troubles  begin.  ■    ■ 


HE  mornincf  after  will 
ye  painless  if  the  night  before  has 
been  calm.  a     ■ 


wo   powerful   destroyers 


of  conjugal  felicity:    Whine  and  Per- 
versity. ■     I 


FASHIONABLE 


marriage    15    a    contract    to    quarrel 
for  [He.  M  m 


OVE     dies    oftener    from 


over-feeding  than  from  mal-nutrition, 


EN  flatter  because  they 
know  women  are  strong  believers 
in  reciprocity,  m    m 


J 


T'S  often  very  expensive 


to  think  out  loud.  ♦  ♦ 


AN'S  love  of  verity  is 
never  so  touchingly  manifest  as 
when  his  wife  consults  him  regard- 
ing her  looks*  ca 


^^JW  PINSTERS  comfort 
themselves  with  the  certainty  that 
there  will  be  no  patronizing  married 
women  in  heaven,  ♦  ♦ 


LD     age    is     the     devil 


who    terrorizes    beautiful  women. 


ILL  that  a  good  cry  is  to 
a  woman,  a  round  swear  is  to  an 
an^ry  man-.  •  • 


HE    pangs    of    love    are 
awful.     Few   men,    however^ 
need  an  anaesthetic.  ^ ^^ 


LITTLE  woman  Is  as 
capable  as  a  big  man  when  it  comes 
to  "raising  Cain'M  ■    ■ 


H  EN 

bored,  say  the 

wrong     thing 

to    the    right 

person    at 

^^^the     wrong 

^\time,    and 

things 

may 

liven 

up. 


E  may  die  to  slow  masic, 


but  most  of  us  like  to  live  in  rac(-time. 


AGNER?    Bans  111 


OSBANDS     sometimes 


want  the  last  word;     wives  always 
do.     The  wives  win.  ♦  4 


MAN'S  man  is  always 
a  woman's  man,  but  a  woman's 
man   Is  rarely  a  man's  man* 


HEN  a  woman  is  too  III 
to  read  about  balls  and  barcfains, 
she  is  indeed  in  danger. 


•  • 


2f 

^  mL  SMARTyoungwom-^^ 
an  can  concoct  more  ways  of  spends 
in^  a  fortune  than  a  brace  of  old 
brokers  can  to  make  one.  •    # 


KITTENISH  child  is 
adorable,  but  a  kittenish  woman 
always  suggests  "cat."  ,, 


'HE   atmosphere  of  love  is 
mostly  hot  air. 


HE  tragedies  of  married 
life  are  comedies  to  the  "Sinner.*' 
The  comedies  are  tragedies  to  the 
"Saint."  4  4 


T  takes  considerable 
>raitis  to  sin  artistically;  a  finished 
sintier  is  rarely  found  out.        m     m 


ONCERNING  legal 
matters:  If  your  claim  is  bad,  get 
a  good  lawyer;  if  your  claim  is  good, 
a  bad  lawyer  is  good  enough.  .  ^ 


EN  are  never  as  good 
as  their  mothers  think,  nor  as  bad 
as  their  enemies  say.  o     a 


Jg^  HE  conventional  man 
objects  to  his  wife  smoking  cigar- 
ettes. The  conventional  woman 
objects  to  her  husband  smoking 
cigarettes.     He  smokes 


•  • 


OVE    is    credulity 
multiplied  by'  two  ^  ^ 


HE  woman  who  hesitates 
i$  bos*$ed.  ^^ 


Your  follies  will  exhaust  your  tear- 
bac(.  m  m 


VE  never  cared  a  fig  leaf 


for  Public  Opinion. 


•   • 


BRIDE  considers  all 
Spinsters^martyrs  and  all  bachelors 
churls.  ■    ■ 


f^ 


lANY    who    "thank    their 


God  **    are    talking    to    themselves. 


HEN  a  Liar  meets  a 
Gossip,  he  bows  with  great 
deference. 


EBT  is  the  pitiless  wheel 


that  grinds  and  grinds  and — grinds ! 


LL'S    flare    in    love 
and   war. 


F  Junk  should    give   out, 


what     would    we     do     for    "Art"! 


TS  all  right  to  say  what 
you  think  if  you  think  all 
right.  -  •  • 


ARRIAGE/*    "Mirage" 


— how  alike! 


•  • 


ASTY  marriages  usually 
begin  with  a  inarch  and  end  with  a 
gallop*  m  m 


N    proportion     to     public 
dears''    are     private     "damns" 
amonc(  c(ushinc(  mates.  •  • 


HERE    is   no   fool   like 


an  old  mule 


N     amazincf    quantity    of 
good  woman  ^oes  to  waist.         ■    ■ 


HE  best  housekeepers  are 


often  the  worst  home-makers.  ■ 


OW    many    cyclones 


would    be    averted    if   words   would 
fail  us  at  the  proper  moment!  »  • 


EAVEN!! 


Receipted     bills. 


HE  "Bridge"  of  Fashion 


often  becomes  the  "Bridcje  of  Sighs". 


O  not  forget  to  leave 
cards  upon  certain  occasionSt  but 
never  leave  them  whilst  yoa  hold 
a  winning  hand,  ■   * 


HE  limited  express  to 
Hades  is  scarcely  speedy  enough  for 
a  wife  who '*don*t  care".  ■    ■ 


1TTLE    be- 
devilments     ignite 
love's     ardors. 
Big    bedevil- 
ments     put 
them     out. 


ARRIAGE    is   the   art   of 
learnincf  to  stay  good    by  contract. 


EFORM  is  always  in 


order  for  the  other  fellow. 


MAN  marries  the  girl;  a 
widow  marries  the  man.  •  • 


XTRAORDINARILY 
plain  women  carry  free  transporta* 
tien  to  heavem  m    m 


I 

^BL  P  she  has  skill  to  manip- 
ulate her  past,  and  solidify  her 
present,  any  smart  woman  may 
have  a  future.  ♦  ♦ 


FFINITY  is  powder, 
proximity  is  the  match  and  you 
are   the    fool  ^    ^ 


HE  Devil  is  no  snob; 
neither  has  he  a  lazy  bone  in  his 
body.  ^  ^ 


HE  LODGE"  is  to 
man  all  that  "a  headache" 
is    to    woman. 


INK   twice    before    you 


Speak. 


GR  grandmothers 
**  listened  to  the  mocking  bird  '*:  we 
listen  to  the  mocking  herd«      ■      ■ 


RAP — a    vehicle.      Trap- 


per— a  little  widow. 


•  • 


OVE  is  the  dawn  of  joy, 


Marriage  its  noon,  Divorce  its  night 


NE    who    forgets    at    will 
has  a  marvelous  future.  ♦  ♦ 


OBSTER?     Yoar  rival. 


WOMAN'S  way  out  of 
an  embarrassing  position  is  hyster- 
ics;    a  man'Sr  the  door.  •  • 


lAMONDS   are   eager 


pleaders  at  the  court  of  love. 


PPAREL     is     important. 


To  wear  too  many  clothes,  costs  a 
lot  of  money;  to  wear  too  few,  often 
costs  more.  .  . 


OCIETY  Is  composed  of 
the  Quick  (who  are  very 


two  sets 

fast)  and  the  Dead— ly 


■    ■ 


ADY  Folly's  score:  One 
glass — frisky;  two — foolish;  three — 
flippant;  four — gone  I  4  4 


B     000  013  284     5 


L^:^.'-  ^> 


